


Eggnog

by RascalJoy (DarkQuill)



Category: The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Crack, Eggnog, Gen, Humor, prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-12
Updated: 2015-09-12
Packaged: 2018-04-20 10:17:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4783691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkQuill/pseuds/RascalJoy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I wonder if it's possible for immortals to get drunk on eggnog."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Eggnog

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is my entry for the "A Very Frosty Winter Exchange" in the forum FanFiction ImagiNation. My prompts were from sunny the unbirthday girl, and they are: "I like your thinking" (I rephrased it to "I like how you think"), eggnog, and accidentally-on-purpose. I tried my absolute hardest not to make this totally crack, but I'll leave that up to you.
> 
> Set directly after "Leo and the Quest for Buford" from The Demigod Diaries. I don't think you really need to read that to read this.

"I wonder if it's possible for immortals to get drunk on eggnog."

Travis glanced at his brother, eyebrow raised incredulously. "What?"

Connor studied the glass in his hand, watching the thick creamy liquid swirl around inside. "I wonder if it's possible for immortals to get drunk on eggnog," he repeated.

Travis rolled his eyes. "Of course it's possible for immortals to get drunk on eggnog. Piper, Leo, and Jason ran into those may—mei—those followers of Dionysus. They're sort of immortal, and they were high on the stuff."

Connor lifted the glass to eye level. "I know that," he said, like it was obvious. "But I'm talking about gods. And if gods can get drunk on eggnog, why not Gaea?"

Travis almost spewed the eggnog in his mouth. He swallowed the liquid with difficulty. "Gaea? Drunk on eggnog?"

Connor finally looked up to meet his older brother's eyes. "Yes. Gaea."

Around them, the other camper's were raucously singing Christmas carols, spirits running high after the woods and half the camp were saved from a fiery doom from the nearly explosive engine of the _Argo II_. The saviors of the camp—Piper, Leo, and Jason—had retired immediately after they broke out the eggnog, probably due to the encounter with the crazed followers of Dionysus hours earlier. But that hadn't stopped anyone from celebrating anyway.

Travis blinked slowly. "I like how you think."

* * *

 

Travis shifted uncomfortably, staring incredulously at the giant crater in front of him. "Are you sure this is a good idea?" he called down to his brother at the bottom, who was in the process of pouring eggnog onto the ground.

"No," Connor said calmly.

Travis blinked. "Then why are we doing this?"

Connor stopped pouring the creamy liquid and looked up. "Because we're idiots. Now come on, pass me the last couple gallons."

Travis sighed. "Can't argue with that." He grabbed the last two gallons of eggnog—all that was left of the two dozen they'd started with—and picked his way carefully down into the hole, passing one of them to Connor.

"All together, now," Connor said. "Then get ready to run."

Travis didn't argue. He didn't want to be anywhere near this place if it actually worked.

Together, they unscrewed the caps and began pouring the last of the drink onto the earth. Travis forced himself to stay put until the last drops oozed over the plastic rim.

For a moment, nothing happened.

Then an odd moaning sound echoed in his ears, the ground beneath his feet shaking slightly. Travis stared in fascination as the eggnog began to sink into the earth, which shouldn't have been possible considering the density of the drink.

"Run!" Connor screamed, grabbing his older brother by the hand and yanking him out of the hole.

As they crested the edge of the crater, the slight shaking began to increase until the ground was practically vibrating under their feet. The moan that Travis had heard earlier increased in pitch until it became a strange keening sound in his ears.

The two boys stumbled through the woods, crashing into branches and trees as they struggled to keep their footing, now terrified out of their wits.

"W-w-we h-have t-t-o warn-n-n th-the c-c-camp!" Travis stammered.

"G-g-go!" Connor yelled back, giving an extra burst of speed.

When they finally exited the woods, they were met with what looked like the entire camp. Travis didn't question how or why they were there, he just knew that they needed to get out of here.

"Run for your lives!" he cried. "Gaea's gone crazy!"

Malcolm from the Athena cabin stepped forward, his eyebrows scrunched tightly together. "What are you talking about? What did you do?"

Connor and Travis exchanged guilty looks.

"Well, we may have—" Travis started.

"Accidentally," Connor piped in.

"On purpose—"

"Gotten Gaea—"

"Drunk on eggnog."

All of the campers stared at them in shock.

"Say _what_ now?" Malcolm demanded.

"Doesn't matter," Travis snapped. "Right now, we need to abandon camp!"

"No, we don't."

Travis and Connor whirled around to see a very smug looking Annabeth Chase standing behind them, flanked by Jason, Leo, and Piper.

"What?" Connor cried. "Why not? We're all gonna die!"

Annabeth raised an amused eyebrow, something Travis hadn't seen her do since Percy disappeared last month. "I overheard you talking by the campfire," she explained. "I wanted you to learn a lesson about messing with the immortals, especially an evil Mother Earth."

Travis blinked at her. "But the earth is shaking, and there's this weird noise, and—and—" It was then that he realized that the earth was, in fact, _not_ shaking at the moment, and there was no keening screech. He stared at Annabeth and the others in shock. "How did you do that?"

"She had a little help," Leo said, an impish grin spreading across his features. "I found an earth shaking machine in one of the rooms in Bunker 9. It didn't take long to tune it up and get it in working order."

"I made the moaning and screaming noises through a megaphone," Piper said, blushing slightly.

"And I used the wind to push dirt onto the eggnog to make it look like it was being absorbed," Jason said, his blue eyes twinkling. "Of course, Annabeth planned it all. We just carried it out."

"So," Annabeth said, placing her hands on her hips, now totally serious. "Think you've learned your lesson?"

Travis and Connor nodded in unison. "No messing with evil immortals."

Annabeth smirked. "Indeed." She glanced over her shoulder into the tree line. "Hey, Will, you get all that?"

Will Solace stepped out of the woods, a video camera in one hand and an evil smile on his face. "Every second, from the eggnog to now."

Travis felt warmth creeping to his cheeks. "You _recorded_ it?!"

"Of course," Annabeth said. "You two seem to love blackmailing. So here's the deal: you have to surrender every single compromising video you have taken over the course of your entire lives. In return, I won't show this to Chiron."

Travis and Connor stared at her in shock.

"No way," Travis hissed.

Annabeth's grey eyes glittered. "Yes. Now swear on the River Styx."

"But—" Connor spluttered.

"Think of it this way," Malcolm interrupted. "Would you rather give up all your blackmailing material or get KP for the rest of your lives?"

Travis and Connor exchanged a glance, then sighed. "We swear on the River Styx."

"Well," Piper said, clapping her hands together loudly. "It's Christmas Day, people. Now that all this is taken care of, let's celebrate!"

Everyone whooped and cheered as they ran up to the dining pavilion for breakfast.

Travis glared at Connor. "This is all your fault."

Connor stared at him in disbelief. " _My_ fault? Excuse me, I wasn't the only one involved in this little project!"

"It was _your_ idea. That makes it _your_ fault."

Connor opened his mouth to respond, when someone's arms slung over his and Travis' shoulders.

"Come on, you two, lighten up!" Leo chided them, steering them up the hill. "It's not like it's the end of the world. Yet. Let's eat!"

Connor ducked out from under the son of Hephaestus' arm. "Okay, okay! We'll be up in a sec, I just gotta tell my brother something."

Leo raised an eyebrow at them. "Okay. Adios, amigos!" He turned and ran up the hill.

Travis whirled on his brother, anger welling up in his chest. He opened his mouth to start yelling when Connor clapped a hand over his mouth, pulling his brother forward.

"Annabeth never said _when_ we had to give up the blackmailing material, right?" he hissed in Travis' ear.

Travis froze. He slowly leaned backwards, taking in the mischievous look on Connor's face. A grin slowly spread across his features. "No, she didn't."


End file.
